Are you th’ kind of person who did yr taxes way back in February? In that case, today must be just another Sunday for you. Lucky thing. You very organized, smug little citizen you. Celebrate your own commendable fore-thought by fixing yrself a cocktail this afternoon. A drink in the afternoon? But of course! You probably have a wide-open calendar with no pressing obligations. You’ve anticipated complex problems and have done all yr homework way ahead of time. You can watch yr favorite TV show from th’ relative luxury of your comfy couch and enjoy a little treat that requires some effort… a few ingredients to track down, more than one step in th’ instructions. You can handle it. After all, you have nothing better to do today… right?
The Retiree
We envision this as a Belgian-influenced tiki drink. Maybe you can sip these while sitting on your porch in Boca Raton on a balmy afternoon after a round of golf with your pals from the condo association. But you don’t have to wait until you’re 65 to enjoy one of these… retire early! We make ours with Kasteel Rouge, a high-alcohol Belgian brown ale flavored with sour cherries. It’s decadent, but… ah, you’ve worked hard, you deserve it. If you can’t find Kasteel Rouge, try using Vichtnaar, Monk’s Cafe, or Liefman’s Oud Bruin. They’ll all work just fine.
- Crushed ice
- 10 ounces Kasteel Rouge (or whatever, see above)
- 2 ounces white rum
- 1 ounce vodka
- 1 1/2 ounces blue curacao
- 2 ounces pineapple juice
- 2 pineapple wedges, for garnish
- 4 maraschino cherries, for garnish
1. Fill two hurricane glasses with crushed ice, and add half of the beer, rum, vodka, curacao, and pineapple juice to each glass. Stir gently.
2. Add a cocktail umbrella (the biggest one you can find), a wedge of pineapple on the side of each glass, and a couple of maraschino cherries in the drink for garnish. Drink with a straw.
Serves 2
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Now if you read that last intro bit and thought: heck, that’s not me at all. I can’t even find my calculator… actually, do I even own a calculator? Do I have all my W-2 forms? I thought I put them over here, underneath the cat. Wait a sec… who moved the cat?!
Friend, take a deeeeeep breath. It’s gonna be fine. You just have to do one thing first, and that’s this: make yrself a drink. Yep. It’s the right thing to do. Here’s a simple one… you probably already have the ingredients in your pantry. Your pantry is in your kitchen. Just walk down the hall, turn left, look straight ahead of you, and… yeah, you found it. That thing there is your pantry. The one with shelves in it. Seriously, just relax and it’ll all be fine. I promise.
Phil Collins
Barleywine is one of those beer styles that folks either hold in the highest esteem or can’t fathom how anyone can finish a glass. We respect that this style of ale takes some getting used to. Barleywines are intensely sweet, quite complex, and often bracingly bitter, with a high alcohol content. Many craft breweries produce versions in the autumn. We use the singular brew in a variation on a classic cocktail (Phil is Tom‘s cousin), tempering the hop bite with gin and lemon.
- Ice cubes
- 1 ounce gin
- 1 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice
- 1 ounce simple syrup
- 3 ounces barleywine
- 1 lemon twist, for garnish
1. Fill a highball glass with a few ice cubes, and add the gin, lemon juice, gin, and simple syrup. Stir gently.
2. Top with the barleywine, garnish with the lemon twist, and serve.
Serves 1
Tags: barleywine, beer cocktails, blue curacao, Kasteel Rouge, Liefman's Oud Bruin, Monk's Cafe, tiki, Tom Collins, Vichtnaar
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